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Sluggish.

3 Jun

This all-encompassing heat has been taking a toll on me. Just walking across campus is a nightmare. Every time I inhale, I feel like I’m breathing in scorched vacuum. No amount of healthy eating, drinking water, or vitamins has been able to stop my head from pounding by the end of the day. I’ve been coming home completely exhausted. I go to sleep with a headache, and wake up with a headache. Yesterday while I was captioning I could feel my head spinning, and this muffled cotton ringing in my ears. I literally felt like I was going to pass out. I think in addition to the heat my “salaah-break” is further complicating things.

I’ve been taking iron supplements, and trying to eat non-heme sources of iron, but all I could think today as I was walking back to the student union was, “I could really eat a gyro the size of my head right now.”

I gave in 😦 I bought a halal gyro from this place in the union and ate it.  It sat in my stomach like a rock. I didn’t feel any better after. I felt gross and bloated and like I had let myself down. I haven’t eaten meat in almost a month and it was like my body didn’t know what to do with it.

It wasn’t even the good gyro meat. 😦 Just those processed slabs that come frozen in a box.

After coming home and feeling like a zombie, I finally took a nap, much later in the day than I should’ve. I woke up a few hours ago. Now it is 1 AM and I am only just now beginning to feel tired. Hate when that happens.

Working out has been out of the question these past couple of days. I worked out quite a bit last week and earlier this week, but right now all bets are off.

Just one more day between now and the weekend. ..a weekend to recuperate from the epic-fail this week has been. (Has it really been only two days?)

Just reviewed this post, and I am Very, Very Sorry that it turned into such a whine-fest. To counter the whining, I introduce:

GOOD THINGS IN MY LIFE

  • my cat ( did I mention we got a cat?) She is a Communist. Her name is Mao. The Sister and I wanted to name her Madeline Albright, but it just never caught on. My mom said you could live your life in the time it would take to say her name. So right now, she is simply the desi form of  ‘meow,’ which is ‘mao.’ Her previous owners had named her Miso, but The Sister and I agree that that name sucks.
  • rain. sweet, sweet rain.
  • my mom.
  • this weekend…can’t wait to go to Sister B‘s house and hit the driving range like I know what I’m doing. Then there is tennis. And bicycling. And walking. And swimming, provided we go at like, 6 AM. Move over Thursday, you’re blocking Friday’s view!
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Deactivated Facebook

4 May

Deactivated my Facebook account. Starting to feel the strain now because I went to go update my status message and realized there was no status message to update, as I no longer possess a Facebook account. So instead I will write here what I wanted to write there:

Running Muslimah just ordered her textbooks, and a wireless adapter and Firewire cable. Being productive rocks!

Ok, I’ve finally realized how epically lame Facebook is. Time to discover the joy of doing things for myself, instead of the joy of feeling like I must announce it to the entire world the moment it happens.

That’s the interesting thing that happened when I realized I couldn’t update my status…I sat there for a moment, reveling in the joy of doing something for myself. Quietly, unannounced.

Of course I ruined it by posting it here. Hehe.

I really want my life back. I want the days back where I didn’t even have internet in the house, and was forced to take a bus to the library just to go online or print something. Aaah, those were the days.

Can’t wait for classes to start.

Things I would like to get done today:

  • Shower

‘Tis a humble list.

[anti] Hero.

10 Feb

She always gave too much of herself, too quickly. Like a bright burning star, offering up all she had and more, shining fiercely, wonderfully, briefly. Some people could give and give and give, their light pouring slowly, steady, never wavering. A continuous, constant dependable stream of light. But not her. She gave her whole person, her whole existence, and didn’t stop until she was through. Until she was guttered out.

She watches them sometimes, in wonder. The normals, the ones free of scars. The ones that can walk out into the world and arrive home again, untouched, unscathed, undisturbed. She is envious.

Every word, every passing hurt, every raised voice, she takes it in, in in. Like a human shaped appendix, absorbing all the bad and stewing in it, until it became a big pulsating mass of unfettered resentment and fear and sadness. Until there was no more space left inside her, and the only way out was out.

***

His eyes are wide, innocent in their childlike wonder. “We think superheroes only exist in stories. That they have passed; like the rain on the mountain, like the wind in the meadow, like the shadow in the hills. That there never lived a man whose heart was washed pure by angels, whose touch made even a tree weep for it’s loss. That there never lived a woman who seemed to appear on every side of her beloved Prophet in the midst of battle, sword at the ready. That there never lived a boy who pledged his allegiance, with liberty and justice for all, whose hand touched the blessed hand of his Prophet, the same hand which later lay at his feet, as he stood proud and tall, even when he had no feet left, honoring the same pledge he took as a child.

“They lived. They were real. They breathed the same air, drank the same water. Just because they are not among us now doesn’t mean they never were.”

Who am I, Sami?

You’re our leader, Ahmad.

And you trust your leader?

The MSA will follow you, to whatever end.

To whatever end…where are the brothers and sisters who hunger for more? The days where they’d sweat, working for Islam? The nights where they would stay up, imploring Allah for victory. They have passed, like the rain on the mountain, like the wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in this campus, behind the hills, into shadow. What Dreams May Become, DatVon Productions



Hold On.

25 Jan

7068. ‘Abdullah ibn Abi ‘Amra was heard to say that he heard Abu Hurayra say that he heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “Someone did (or committed) a wrong action and said, ‘O Lord, I have sinned (or committed), so forgive me!’ His Lord said, ‘Does My slave acknowledge that he has a Lord who forgives wrong action and punishes for it? I have forgiven My slave.’ Then he remained for as long as Allah wished and then again committed (or did) a wrong action and said, ‘O Lord, I have sinned (or committed) again, forgive it.’ He said, ‘Does My slave acknowledge that he has a Lord who forgives wrong action and punishes for it? I have forgiven My slave.’ Then he remained for as long as Allah wished and then committed a wrong action and said, ‘O Lord, I have committed (or done) another wrong action, so forgive me.’ Allah said, ‘Does My slave acknowledge that he has a Lord who forgives wrong action and punishes for it? I have forgiven My slave,’ three times, ‘so let him do what he likes.'” Sahih al Bukhari Book of Tauheed

HAITI.

16 Jan

We know what to do. We’ve all receive the emails, links, tweets, facebook events, shoutouts, the whole 9 yards. Now is the time to act. Donate money, clothing, food, hygiene items to all the organizations out there that you know are helping right now. The world is dangerous not because of evil people, but people like us who sit back and do nothing.

Ran a mile!

3 Jan

Ran a mile around Lake Eola today! More exactly, .9 miles, but who’s splitting hairs?

Project Downtown this morning, followed by Seerah Path review, followed by running around Lake Eola! Even though it was freezing cold, we went out to the lake anyway because it was right there. It was still really pretty.

The Nabsterator and I started running, and we kept up a good clip until alllllmost to the end. I had to leave my fallen comrade behind *tear* but alhamdulillah I was able to complete the loop without stopping.

I still got it, baby!

2 1/2 hours of Seerah review, *spiritual and mental exercise* followed by running *physical exercise* = one very happy running muslimah!

yo, 2009, i’m happy for you, and imma let you finish…but 2010 is gonna be the best year of all time! OF ALL TIME!

31 Dec

Another year, done and almost, almost gone. So much has changed…and so much remains the same. More when I can keep my eyes open…